Religion is not something I talk about a lot. I have my reasons and they’ll likely come up but I just wanted to start by telling you that I don’t think you need to join my religion. I don’t want to join yours. I don’t care which religion is best.

I was born and raised into a Catholic family. For the first half of my life, that seemed to be a normal part of things. We’d go to church on either Saturday evenings or Sunday mornings. My brother, sister, and I didn’t really care for it but we were still well-behaved because that’s the way we were raised. During the week, we’d attend CCD (Confraternity of the Christian Doctrine). I don’t remember learning much in these classes and always looked forward to the snack part of it because we had a sweet old nun who understood that a child’s attention could be bought with treats.

I went through First Communion and Confession (though I didn’t actually attend confession until years later because I was terrified of telling the priest I was a bad person). At the end of it all, I went through Confirmation. The best thing I think my parents did for me and my siblings, on religion, was give us a choice on Confirmation. Granted, this was because my brother was adamant on not getting confirmed and he never did but my sister and I did and we did so by choice.

It wasn’t until Confirmation that I really started understanding the Church well enough and forming a bond with it. I also learned that my priest could be a good friend, he was, after all one of the few people who had patience to help me learn how to drive stick shift (he even let me drive his car which helped me build confidence because it was far newer and nicer than my own). What I learned in Confirmation is the beginning of my views on religion now. We were required to take part in Church events and to volunteer in the community. It boiled down to the 10 Commandments, which are a good way to live your life regardless of your religion.

In college, about the time the priest I had for Confirmation retired, I started to distance myself from the Church. I remain Catholic, but I stopped seeing the point in needing to go. I could help people and be kind without needing to go to Church. At Church, I felt judged by my fellow parishioners because I was not as devout as they were. I didn’t need that if I wanted to be helpful. It wasn’t the doctrine, it wasn’t the clergy, it was my fellow-man who drove me away.

In driving me away, I started to look at the Church differently. It wasn’t a necessity for me to volunteer like I had thought. I joined the Peace Corps and helped for 27 months and they emphasize how they’re not a religious organization. That got me thinking.

Before it’s too late, I should also point out that during college, I was a devoted watcher of My Name is Earl before it got cancelled. It was a feel good show that’s message was to just be a good person. It had a big influence on my life.

One aspect of the Church that I started thinking about was something that had always nagged at me but I hadn’t given a lot of thought to. God. When people asked, I always told them that I had trouble grasping the concept of God because it conflicts with the scientist inside of me. In no way, shape, or form can it be proven that there is a God. You could tell me that the butterfly is because of God, and I could respond that the butterfly is the result of the caterpillar going into a chrysalis and coming out not only beautiful but also intimidating to those who would prey on it. I’d try to rationalize every bit of proof there is a God with science. You could tell me, after me shooting down all your instances around me, that I shouldn’t need proof to know there is a God. I should just know, and that’s the basis of faith. I don’t have faith in things I can’t see or touch. I’m sorry, my mind works a different way. I prefer to put my faith in the people around me and hope they’ll do good things.

These are heavy things I’ve struggled to understand for years and I’ll continue to try to understand them for many more years. It is just the way things will be for me.

In recent years, I’ve developed my sense of religion. You’re welcome to join me, if it appeals to you. My religion is as follows: be a good person, help others. That’s it. You don’t need to grapple with the idea of a god or many gods. You don’t need faith. You don’t need to be devout. You can skip a week or month or year to take time to yourself and you won’t be judged. It’s your life. If you can though, use it to make other people’s lives even a little better.

I’m just trying to be a good person, my name is Danny.