Grandpa’s wishes

I’ve been spending the past few weeks visiting people that I know I won’t be seeing for a while and getting ready for a going away party to take care of it in a lump sum.

This past Monday, I met with a friend who left Tuesday for a semester abroad in Italy. She said she’s been doing the same and mixing packing in when she has time. I think she had an easier time visiting people than I did because she’ll be back home later this year. There’s a lot more that I have to take into account.

I don’t see my grandparents on my father’s side too often. They’ve lived in the same house for more than the past four decades, located in the South-side of Chicago. It isn’t a long drive to visit but my grandparents don’t like driving unless they have to and my parents don’t like the neighborhood (it goes through cycles between being a ‘good’ and a ‘bad’ neighborhood, usually hovering around ‘bad’). In addition, I’ve been too busy with school the past few years to accompany my parents down for the bi-annual visits.

Seeing as how I’m leaving this month, I asked that we go down for a last visit before I leave. Saturday, my father and I drove down.

It was nice. Two of my three uncles on my dad’s side, my aunt and both my grandparents were around and I got to talk with all of them before I left.

Everyone seemed genuinely worried about my safety. I gave them the best assurances that I could based off of what I’ve heard from the Peace Corps that I wouldn’t be placed in harms way. However, that doesn’t mean harm won’t come looking for me. My uncle Tommy was still convinced that I needed more protection than my pocket knife would offer; he kept trying to give me an Army boot knife to take with me. I tried explaining that it wouldn’t be easy explaining why I had with when I went through customs. Still, it was nice to know people were looking out for me.

My grandma seemed most interested in what sort of communication I’d have with home. She wanted to know if I’d be able to send pictures for her to share. I assured her that I’d do my best. Trust me, I will. (If you’d also like to receive email updates, drop me an email at danny@sassyhacksaws.com)

My aunt Cathy wanted me to write her, and she assured me she’d write back. She didn’t seem to think that it could be as interesting as what I had to say, but she’d write anyway. I don’t think I managed to tell her that any word from home would be interesting to me, even the seemingly mundane.

My uncle David seemed genuinely impressed that his brother’s son was going to do something drastically different than the rest of the family had done. I think his remark was, “You’re definitely one of Joey’s[sic] kids.” Just think what he would have though had my dad told him that my sister is in the process of applying for Teach for America.

Then there’s my grandpa. He’s always been a quiet man with little to say. He gave me only two pieces of advice for my time in Ukraine. The first, don’t look up our relatives in Poland. He’s never met them but they’ve tried getting him to send them money on numerous occasions. He doesn’t want me to have to deal with that. Don’t worry grandpa, I won’t hand out money to relatives I don’t know. The second piece of advice came as I was hugging my grandpa goodbye. He leaned in and said, “Find yourself a girlfriend in the Ukraine.”

Because you asked Grandpa, I’ll see what I can do.

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Always pay the boatman

I forgot to mention yesterday that it was my last day of work.

It was nice, my boss was sad to see me go and I was sad to go. Coworkers dropped by throughout the day to wish me luck in the Peace Corps and to make sure I let them know how things are going. My boss wrote me a nice note in a card.

But now I’m sitting in my bedroom at my parents house and I’m wondering where I am. I haven’t been a student for a few months now and now I no longer am employed. Granted, my situation is temporary but what do I call it? Waiting? I’ve been spending the past two weeks going through everything I own. I get rid of things when I can and I put the rest into boxes. Those boxes go into the attic, directly above my desk. They’ll sit there for twenty-seven months until I come home and move out again.

I wrote a friend tonight and I told her that I feel like I’m in limbo. My life at home isn’t dead but it isn’t really living. I’m just waiting for Charon to ferry me across the sea, leaving all of my friends and family to live their lives on this shore. Don’t worry, I paid him for a return trip.

When I get back, I’ll climb into the attic and bring my life back down. It’ll be preserved as it is right now. Preserved in limbo while everyone who didn’t come with me will have been moving forward for two years. I’ll be moving forward too, just elsewhere. It makes me wonder, what’s the point in me saving anything?

Maybe I’m starting to think about some of the consequences of the Peace Corps that I’ve been avoiding for a while or maybe I just really don’t want to clean my room. You tell me.

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Tutoring

Tutoring was canceled today. It was my last session. In some ways I’m sad (not getting to spend time with wonderful people trying to learn English) and in some ways I’m happy (I get to end my day sooner).

The Peace Corps required me to fulfill 30 hours of ESL tutoring before I’d be qualified to leave. For some this might have been an easy thing to do, but for me it was a challenge. I’ve never been a huge volunteer and especially not while in college. I had no network to reach out to in order to figure out how to get my experience.

Back in March, I found a place that was looking for conversation partners for their ESL students. They wanted people to create an environment where the students would feel comfortable to practice English. I offered my time and I was placed with one, and then another student.

Being a conversation partner isn’t my thing. It was forced. For those of you who’ve spent a good deal of time around me, you know I like to jump from subject to subject as new thoughts sprout in my mind. You also, hopefully, know that I enjoy conversation downtime. It reminds me of the scene in Pulp Fiction:

Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it’s necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
Vincent: I don’t know. That’s a good question.
Mia: That’s when you know you’ve found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.

Conversations with my conversation partners weren’t either of those things. Plus, it became increasingly difficult to work around two school schedules and my work schedule. I had to find something else.

That’s about the time a friend told me she was looking into doing some tutoring for the Literacy Network. I tagged along for an info session and ended up with my name on a waiting list.

On the return portion of my July 2010 adventure, I received a call asking me to fill an open tutoring position and I gladly accepted. I showed for my first session and was handed a lesson plan for a student. I was there to be their guide in learning, to answer questions as they came up and to correct pronunciation as needed. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it might be; of course this could have been because I wasn’t making the lesson plans myself.

Through the past handful of weeks, I’ve come to enjoy talking with the students. They have great stories to tell and they’re really excited to be able to brag about their children’s accomplishments in English and I’m happy to listen.

One thing that bothers me is that the lesson plans seem to make the students seem dumb. I know they’re not dumb. For example, we’ll be doing an activity where they need to choose a word from a box to complete a sentence and each word is used only once. They don’t always seem to understand the process of elimination. My guess is that they don’t fully understand the instructions and therefore they don’t realize the simplicity of it.

Despite this, I think my tutoring has been a decent introduction into what I’ll be doing in the Peace Corps. Of course, the Peace Corps will have me write my own lesson plans and I won’t be working one-on-one but in front of a class (cringe). As I was told today, be prepared to make a fool of yourself.

Trust me, I am.

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Staging

It’s official, I start my big move on the 17th of September.

I wanted to post this last week, but I never received my email confirmation of my flight. I didn’t want to go back and eat my words. As it turns out, it’s a good thing I had to call and figure out my flight information because my name was wrong in the system. I would have tried boarding with my ID with a different name on it and most likely been denied.

Here’s a brief itinerary for the first few days of my journey:
Sept. 17

  • Depart MKE @7:30, arrive DCA 10:26
  • Find other Peace Corps Volunteers arriving at roughly the same time, take shuttle to Georgetown hotel together
  • Register @12:00
  • Hotel check-in @3:00
  • Info session 2-430
  • Break 430-5
  • More info session 5-7
  • Tear up Georgetown with fellow PCV

Sept. 18

  • Checkout of hotel @ 12
  • Take shuttle to airport @1230
  • Fly to Frankfurt @545
  • Fly to Kyiv @950A Sept. 19
  • Arrive Kyiv @1150A
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This one’s for you

I consider myself a writer even though it seems I only write my inane thoughts here. But trust me, I have many more inane thoughts.

I recently realized I don’t hate my commute between home and Madison as much as I thought I did. It used to be that it was an hour ride where I’d watch the same scenery fly past. However, this past summer, I’ve used the time to perfect my writing and the commute grew on me. I have a longer story I’ve been working on in my head. I have blog posts and other miscellaneous writing projects. I’ll take that hour ride–one I’ve done so many times I don’t need to be awake for it–and I’ll focus on a writing project. Details get worked out and scenes written and rewritten. All in my head. Time is also spent thinking about things that I want to write for myself, but I never actually do. I’ve found use in what I used to hate.

But my problem is that when I get off my motorcycle, I don’t sit down and write out the new scenes or details or other bits of writing. I rely on my mind to remember them (I think I have a descent memory for most things). But it’s inevitable I’ll forget something important which in turn rewrites the entire scene or idea and gives it a whole meaning that I didn’t intend or want.

I’ve never consistently kept a journal–this makes me wonder how I’m a writer. I’ve never kept any source of writing for myself that didn’t last longer than a particular episode in my life. I’m sure in the next few weeks as I’m going through my life and sorting things, I’ll find my longest attempt at journaling and that was a three week internal struggle I had with a girl who I couldn’t move past ‘just friends’.

It could be argued that this blog is a form of personal writing that I’ve kept for three years but trust me when I say it isn’t. There is a great deal of information I keep out of this blog. I’m not a teenager who seeks attention/acceptance from my peers be complaining about everything wrong with my life. I only do that once in a while. I know a large sample of my friends read this and I try to write things that won’t offend anyone; so I’m not writing for me as much as I’m writing for you.

Now let’s factor in the Peace Corps. It’s going to be another episode in my life that I’ll want to document the best I can. I’m going to do it for me. I’m going to get a nice journal–leather with a leathery smell every time I open it–and I’m going to write in it every day. I hope that it will help me cope with the culture shock and it will help me sort out everything that happens. More importantly, it’s a twenty-seven month episode that I’ll be documenting and I’m hoping that period of time, writing every day, will be enough to get me in a habit of writing that will continue.

I’ll have a place to write down the thoughts of my commute. I’ll have a place to remember every thing that happens. And most importantly, I’ll have a place to write where I’m writing for me and not you.

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