Yesterday was our holiday party for work. I have mixed feelings about work parties. In theory, they should be fun because it’s eating and drinking with the goal of having a good time, right? Not always for me.

I feel obligated to show up and it’d be nice not to. In an office of a dozen people, I can’t be the only one who doesn’t go, especially if I don’t have a good reason. My boss would know, and I’m afraid she’d take it personally. But really, I just don’t like spending time with coworkers outside of work. I see enough of them in the office, almost as much as I see my wife.

I’m also afraid of what I might miss if I don’t go. Not that anything ever happens, but I know that one time I decide to skip is the time something great happens. That’s just my luck.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not just my current job where I don’t want to go to office parties. The last place I worked had a summer party and a winter party and I dreaded both of those each year and that’s even considering that one of those times we went to see Paul McCartney.

I don’t like making small talk. I don’t really care about what they do in their free time and it’s clear they don’t care what I do. So why try to talk about it?

Any hope that this will get better as time goes on?