A Whole Lot of Changes


Blog / Friday, February 20th, 2015

Okay, I think it’s time that I explain myself. For the past few months, I have done a terrible job keeping up with most aspects of my life and, unfortunately, this blog fell into that category. I think it’s time to come clean about it and to do so, I want to tell you a story.

In late 2012, I returned from my Peace Corps Ukraine life and set out to find myself a job to do. In what I still deem to be record time, or a stroke of good luck, I found a job in a matter of three weeks. When I started my job search, I set myself to a very strict and rigorous regime of applying or at very least contacting three new jobs every day. Then when the job offer came (I was in the middle of a 5-mile run), I didn’t have a car and the job was over an hour drive from my parents’ house where I was living. For the first week or so of working, I drove my mom’s Pontiac Vibe but I knew I had to get myself a car of my own because the generosity of my parents would run out. She would need her car eventually. So I searched, and eventually settled on my Kia Rio.

2007 Kia Rio

While it was not the car I really wanted, it was the car I bought and it worked for me. Quickly I found it had great gas mileage and the windows had great visibility and it didn’t handle too well on the snow. But the Kia Rio was mine and I was proud of it and I relied on it. Like, I really relied on it. I racked up 23,000 miles in the first year. I drove a lot to and from work, I visited Ellie a few times in Minnesota, and I just went about my day-to-day. I maintained that car like a baby. I was consistent with oil changes and adding a cleaning solvent to the gas and just keeping it in comfortable shape.

In early 2014, while I was leaving my apartment parking lot, a neighbor backed into me. The damage was minimal but I was furious. This was my baby and the neighbor disregarded the fact. Then I had a week of sorting out insurance and getting the car repaired. It was frustrating but it was a learning experience and eventually everything was back to normal.

Switching gears a bit, I want to talk about the job I took that caused me to get the car. I started as an Assistant Project Manager for ICD Translation. My job was to analyse quotes for translation projects and process them if the client signed off on the work orders. I can’t say that it was particularly interesting work, but it was solid work and it taught me a lot of organizational skills and how a business could run. After three months as an Assistant, I was promoted to full-time Project Manager. The duties didn’t really change much but it was nice to have the new title and it came with a raise. I felt like I had everything I needed in a career for a mid-twenties guy who spent twenty-seven months in the Peace Corps finding himself.

Granted, translation is never where I saw myself going in life. Most of the jobs I was applying for post-Peace Corps were writing and editing related. There was one that was really promising, but ended up going nowhere after being strung along for six months. I received a very simple, “We are looking for candidates with specific experience for this position.” This was odd because I had a number of conversations with the guy where he could have asked if I had that experience. He didn’t. So when that news came, a few months into working for ICD Translation, I hunkered down in the translation business and let it be my current calling. And honestly, it wasn’t so bad. I’m a big proponent of working with what life gives you because it might turn into something good.

A handful of raises later, I decided that it did turn into something good. I had enough money to live comfortably. I also had additional job duties which were more interesting for me. After offering to update the very, very outdated website ICD Translation had, the website became my new project to manage. I was in charge or updates and maintaining it and the process of making it better for the business. In recent months, that involved a push to create new content for it and work on the SEO to drive more business in through the website. My bosses wanted it to be something that they fed initially and then it started to feed the company. We’re still working on that last part.

Let me jump around one more time before I get back to my original point. Shortly after I got back from Ukraine and had gotten a job and a car, I stood up in one of my friend’s wedding. It was there that I met an amazing girl. She’s brilliant and beautiful and caring and strong. Something about her gave me the courage to do something I for so long struggled to do, I asked her out. Okay, granted I asked her out in a text message because that’s the most courage I could muster (she later called me out on it) but it doesn’t really matter because she said yes. And that was the beginning of a long and wonderful relationship.

From the start, we knew it wouldn’t be a normal relationship. I lived in Southeastern Wisconsin, she went to school in Minnesota, some five hours away as the Kia Rio drives. But we knew it was worth it, so we made it work. She would make excuses to come back to visit her parents and we would see each other. Eventually, we reached a stage where we were comfortable with me going to visit her at school. It was on this drive, after a long day in translation and in a Kia Rio that didn’t come with cruise control, that I was pulled over and ticketed for speeding. You try to maintain a consistent speed after three hours of driving following a day of sitting in an uncomfortable chair at work. This trip prompted me to install an aftermarket cruise control in my car. Best decision.

When Ellie graduated, she moved back home with her parents who lived a mere ten minutes from my apartment. It was wonderful having her around, but hard because I had to see her struggle to find a job. It’s an unfair, unclear, and self-questioning process. BUt eventually, she found a job in May of last year in Madison. This meant she’d move there so she could work but it also meant it was long-distance again. “It’s less than last time,” we told each other to console ourselves. And it was, but it didn’t make it easier. Part of me thinks it made the situation harder but I can’t really explain why.

I knew I had to do something to fix it. My Kia Rio became less and less comfortable with every late night Sunday drive back to my apartment. My job was becoming more dull than interesting and I had been at it nearly two years, so it was a good time for a switch.

And thus I began job searching. It’s a terrible process. You know you’re great and you could do every job you find, but you’re limited to a one-page cover letter and a one-page resume to prove it. Even if you write clearly and manage to highlight all your glowing aspects in those two pages, it’s still up to chance if you get a positive response. And that light at the end of the tunnel starts to fade away. Things get dark and all of life starts to get overwhelming because you obviously don’t have the skill set needed to file papers for a job so how could you get out of bed in the morning? Or go grocery shopping? What’s the point in maintaining your friendships? You’re probably terrible at those anyway.

This was a dark time for me. But fear not, the light at the end of the tunnel is brighter and it’s starting to change its hue even. Things are different coming up.

Here’s the thing, after months of sending out resumes and going to a few interviews, I finally landed a job in Madison. The best part is, it’s what I have wanted to do all along. My official title is Magazine and Copy Editor for CODAworx. I’ll be doing writing and editing and compiling a monthly magazine. My new boss ecstatically offered me the position, too. Which, after months of rejection and feeling terrible about myself, was refreshing.

That being said, today is my last day with ICD Translation. Over the past couple weeks, I’ve started moving my life to Madison where I’ll be living with Ellie. And for a moment, after I had accepted the job, everything seemed to be going according to plan.

Until this past Sunday.

Last weekend, I drove my Kia Rio, loaded up with boxes of things to Madison. I unloaded those things at Ellie’s apartment. I drove my Kia Rio to my parent’s house to cash my check. I drove it back to Madison to pick up Ellie so we could celebrate Valentine’s Day together. We drove to the restaurant and then to the botanical gardens to walk around. And then we drove back to Ellie’s apartment, where I parked the car for the remainder of the weekend.

Sunday night, around 8:30, Ellie walked me to my car where we said our goodbyes like we do every weekend I visit her. I drove two miles to the gas station to fill up my tank before the 75 mile drive home. After filling up, I pulled out of the station and waited at the stoplight to turn onto the road I needed to get home. Then it hit me. Literally, a Dodge Durango hit me. I remember yelling, “SHIT!” as my glasses flew off my face and everything else in my car flew about. It lasted a second, but I was stunned. I hadn’t seen it coming.

Smashed Kia Rio

When I got out of my car, because I felt like I should but I really didn’t know what I was doing at that moment, I saw the vehicle behind me and I looked at my Kia Rio’s rear end and just stood there looking at it. The other driver stumbled out of his truck and came toward me. I asked if he was okay but I don’t remember what he said. A man, Bruce, at the gas station I had just been at filling up my tank called over to ask if he should call 911 and asked if we were all okay. I told him yes on both accounts. The other driver had an envelope with his vehicle information in it and started rattling off what sounded like a phone number when I asked for his insurance information. I told him to hold on so I could get my insurance and walked over to the passenger door to grab it.

Now, we both had just been in an accident. I was shocked and shaken with a bump on my head but other than that, I had my wits about me. The other driver, didn’t seem to. I couldn’t tell if it was from the crash, or if he was drunk, or mentally ill. I knew something was up, though.

After grabbing my insurance information (I had an expired insurance card but I knew the policy information would be the same), I walked over to the other driver’s vehicle and on the way wrote down the license plate number because I couldn’t remember if I needed it for insurance or not. The driver had gotten back into his truck and it was still running. I didn’t like that. I walked over to his door, and saw there was a passenger who seemed to be in good shape. I asked the driver to please turn off the vehicle and to step out with me to take care of insurance. I didn’t want him driving off. He didn’t like that request and started spewing/slurring/mumbling something resembling the following:

I don’t fucking need to turn off the vehicle. Fuck you. You don’t tell me…you don’t tell me what the fuck to do. Fuck you. You f–you faggot. You fuck you. I gave you my insurance fuck you.

I calmly said that we can take care of it when the police arrive. That’s what you do when you have a significant accident. The passenger, thankfully, turned off the truck. But the driver wasn’t done. He got out of his truck and continued to yell at me and started to get aggressive. I held up my arm to keep him at a distance. I also motioned for Bruce, the witness, to come over. Bruce is a bigger guy than I am and it would be nice having him to help me if need be.

Fortunately, shortly after Bruce came over, the first police car showed up. It was right about then that the driver decided to turn his anger at me towards the officer. Dumb move, but I was relieved it wasn’t directed at me. The officer asked him if he had been drinking that night. There was a mumbled no. Then the officer asked him to complete a field sobriety test and a breathalyzer, both of which were refused. Meanwhile, the driver wasn’t remaining calm and the officer had him pressed against the truck. He struggled and was cuffed. He continued to struggle and was tackled to the ground where he continued to struggle. It was about this time another officer showed up to assist him. Together the two put the driver in the back of the squad car.

Meanwhile, Bruce and I are talking to the passenger. We found out that he was 17, didn’t have a license, was the nephew of the driver, and had a strong dislike of cops. Great. I had asked the kids age because I wanted to find out why he wasn’t driving when his uncle was clearly not in a clear state of mind. I told him that next time he should drive, whether or not he has a valid license just to potentially save some lives.

When the officer came over to talk to the nephew, things got interesting again. The nephew clearly stated that he did not have a valid license because the cops had taken it away a few days prior. He also insisted that he didn’t need a license to drive the truck home. To this the officers just looked at each other in disbelief before telling him that, in fact, he did. They’re cops and know he would be breaking the law.

While an officer was searching the vehicle the nephew decided it was best to remove the damaged bumper and tore it off the truck. The officer found an empty bottle of Fleischman’s in the truck. This sealed the driver’s fate for the evening.

After explaining to the nephew that he couldn’t drive but if he cooperated, the officers told him they could help him get the vehicle home and give him a ride there as well. Then the officer asked me to wait in the gas station while they took care of the tow truck and while he wrote up his report. Since it was cold out, I gladly drove my car to the gas station parking lot and waited inside. After what seemed like an hour but was probably only fifteen minutes, the officer came in to take my statement and explain what to do next. He informed me that the driver was on his third drunk driving offense and they had other issues with the driver too. For example, he hadn’t had a valid license since 2003 and that the plates on the truck did not match the VIN number. But the officer assured me that the vehicle did have insurance so I should be taken care of, and he also assured me the driver was going to jail. That was nice to hear, given the circumstances.

Smashed Kia Rio

I took the following day off of work so I could get the situation with my car handled. I needed to get it to a body shop and get a loaner to drive while it got fixed. The officer had told me that it wasn’t legal to drive it in the state that it was in, even if it did roll. I still had a week of work to get to. After a day of trying to get in touch with the person managing my claim, I eventually got through with enough time to arrange a drop off a rental car. It only took a day, but things seemed to be working out.

The next day at work, I got a call from my insurance company and they told me that my car was a total loss and that I’d be receiving a check. It is what it is. I am now without a car.

I started to think about it, and it seems fitting. The Kia Rio represented my life after Peace Corps. It was a job that wasn’t great but kept a roof over my head and food on the table. It was a long-distance relationship that at times seemed like there was no end of in sight. It was freedom, and morning commutes, and headaches and it was mine and I loved it as much as you can love a car like a Kia Rio. I’m sad to see it go, just as I got it a week after beginning work at ICD Translation I had to get rid of it a week before the job ended.

As I said before, the light at the end of the tunnel is brighter than ever and it has changed it’s hue for the better. I’m excited to see what the future holds and I’m glad that everything seemed to change at once.

One Reply to “A Whole Lot of Changes”

Leave a Reply