I have a problem with bugs. I don’t like them. I don’t like them flying near me. I don’t like them crawling on me. I try my best not to kill them, however, unless I absolutely have to.

A few days ago, I blamed Ernest Hemingway for leaving fleas in my apartment. It’s because he’s a dick. Don’t believe me? Try and reason with him.

Anyway, I nearly had another flea incident. And by incident, it would have been the end of all flea incidents because nothing would have survived. I found a massive breeding ground for flea larvae in my kitchen. Right next to where I prepare my food. My food, dammit.

I was poking around in the soil of my begonia, which I had received from Jud when he COS’ed a year ago and I found larvae galore. They were tiny and malicious looking and when I poked at them, they hopped out-of-the-way. Clearly the larvae of fleas.

Simple solution when you don’t know where or how to buy larvae killing yet plant safe chemicals? Take the pot outside and put it on the bench in the middle of the night. The middle of the night part is only necessary if you don’t want to explain to old women why you’re getting rid of a perfectly good plant.

Then, the next day when you wake up, be amazed at how the plant magically disappeared.

Also, I think the plant was home to the swarm of fruit flies in my kitchen. Plant is gone and the majority of the swarm is now gone. Two birds, one potted plant full of larvae and fruit flies.