Yesterday, I helped Ellie move into her new apartment. Once again, after six months of living so close to one another, we are in a long-distance relationship.
Now, the distance doesn’t worry me because that’s how we started. Then, the distance was greater than it is now and since it was the beginning of a relationship, things were more rocky. I know she’s only an hour and fifteen minutes away from me. I can drive over any time I’m free. Also, she has a car now so she can drive over anytime she’s free. It’s a lot nicer than it was before. For that, I’m grateful.
What bothers me is that we have to go back to being long distance. It’s just the logical step for both of us. I’m not yet well enough established in my career that I can easily pick up to follow her and land a job without problem (though that would be nice). Nor should she be limited to jobs near me because I don’t want her to go away. That’s not fair to her and she might not get hired in this area doing what she wants in this area for a long time (and as of writing she hasn’t, but I doubt she’d want to stay in this area anyway).
We both wish there was a better solution.
We’re both in similar situations where we would have trouble finding jobs and neither of us is rolling in the dough so we couldn’t support ourselves for a long time. Because I know if we could, the two of us would seriously consider packing it all up and moving to Arizona just to try our luck out West. We loved it there and we agree that it would be a great place to live. It’s just too soon in our lives to be able to risk it all (though I have a handful of friends who have tried doing just that and have varied results).
I hope in the near future the two of us can be in the same place again. Her job is only temporary (four months) and her sublet is only for seven months. At that time, she can reassess where she wants to be. Maybe I’ll be less tied to a job and a paycheck and I’ll be more free to assess my situation. I think if that all happened at the same time, the stars must have aligned (or one of us decided to take that leap of faith).
I know this is not too common of a situation, but what would you do in this situation? Would you risk it all and get up and move to be together? Or would you play it safe (like I feel like I’m doing now) and wait for the right moment and the stars to align (if they ever do)? Or is there some other option I’m not seeing?